prokopetz:

One of the distinctive features of Old Norse poetry is the use of kenning: a circumlocutory device in which a straightforward noun is replaced with an allusive phrase.

For example, a ship might be referred to as a “wave’s horse”; a sword, a “wound-serpent”; a shield, “the shame of swords”, and so forth. Sometimes, kennings could be embedded in other kennings – thus, one might have “feeder of war-gulls” = “feeder of ravens” = “warrior”; this is known as a doubled or extended kenning

Though many conventions of English literature can be traced back to Old Norse roots, kenning isn’t much encountered these days – at least, not in most genres. There’s one particular genre where the art of kenning is alive and well, though.

I’m speaking, of course, of erotic fanfic.

Whether you’re referring to a penis as a “porn-truncheon” or a vagina as “squish-pocket” (both examples I’ve seen employed in all apparent seriousness, incidentally), that perfectly fits the form and function of a kenning. Indeed, these examples even adhere to the idiosyncratic grammatical structure of many Old Norse kennings, with the base word being modified by an uninfected noun determinant inserted as a compound prefix.

Euphemisms for sex acts, meanwhile, can be even more baroque, forming multi-level allusions in the manner of doubled/extended kennings. “To ride the baloney pony”, for example, employs the act of riding a horse as an allusion to penetrative sexual intercourse – but the contained phrase “baloney pony” is, itself, a kenning of the simple type, with “pony” as the base word and “baloney” as the determinant, making the whole phrase a doubled kenning.

There are practical reasons for this sort of practice, of course; e.g., complex euphemisms can help sexually explicit works sneak through content filters. Still, it’s kind of fascinating that smutty fanfic has managed to preserve – in virtually unaltered state – a poetic form that’s otherwise been largely extinct in English literature for the better part of a thousand years.

rocketssurgery:

dinojay:

rocketssurgery:

dinojay:

rocketssurgery:

dinojay:

rocketssurgery:

gwladus:

can someone please explain what’s happening to my blog tonight BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS SUDDENLY HAPPENED

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I COLORED IT BUT IT JUST MADE HIM LOOK EVEN MORE STONED

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It Begins. 

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basically conversation between Jay, Lissa, and I devolved into a Cheerio Stoner Orgy lmao

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I feel like Brittany is always the first person to get her clothes off

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AND TINA IS CANON NOW SO ALL MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE

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THANK YOU RYAN MURPHY

OK I THINK WE’RE DONE NOW I HOPE YOU ENJOY

goldenheartedrose:

porcelain-horse-horselain:

tantafajita:

porcelain-horse-horselain:

wow what? apparently there is a whole subset of teaparty/republicans who think obama is secretly gay and collect “evidence” and discuss it among one another…

so basically there is a group of conservatives who headcanon our president as gay and write slash fanfic about it.

conservatives are the weirdest fandom

the question is, who do they ship him with

kal penn

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i’m not kidding at all: source / source

Oh my fucking God.