Author: hoverbones

hussyknee:

vocifersaurus:

naamahdarling:

setheverman:

tooquirkytolose:

My 26 yr old sister still says things out loud like ‘ermagerd’ and ’___ ALL the things!’ Like…is that what’s gonna happen to me?am I going to be 30 still saying stupid shit like O shit waddup! Are all the youngins gonna be embarrassed by my use of outdated memes….how long until I myself am not Hip With It….how long until I am no longer a trendy memer…

my greatest fear honestly

Listen, I am 40.  I was around for the early internet of webrings and hamsterdance. Homestarrunner.  Those little cats in the boat singing to Immigrant Song.  Longcat.  Ceiling cat.  Radiskull.  Powerthirst.

So to me anything that is funny on the internet is, and always will be, cutting-edge and hilarious.  If it’s funny the first time, it’s funny the eleven thousandth time.  No exceptions.

I accumulate memes. Social media sites form actual strata in my soul, revealing my geological age in layers: Geocities, Myspace, Livejournal, Tumblr.  Memes encrust me, like jewels, just layer on layer of reaction gifs and shitposts, some of which I barely understand, but I refuse to let go of.  I cling to them, they are ever-relevant, undying.

You callow youths, who think in your innocence that that memes come and go, you are tepid fools who still smell of milk.

I am where memes go to die. I am where memes go to live eternal.

Someday, if you are lucky, you will join me.  Bring your breadsticks meme, your Spiders Georg, your Bode, your big mood, your Supernatural gifs, your oh worm.  Come with me and rejoice in pointless in-jokes and long-forgotten references.  Embrace your encyclopedic knowledge of comedy sites ca 2006 and come share the knowledge with us. Come with me and lik the bred.  

You gotta.

OK BUT I FORGOT ABOUT POWER THIRST OMG

This is the most perfect articulation of how I feel all time on social media and fandom.

we don’t meme-shame in this house

unbeingdeaddd:

whokilledlordmorley:

semitics:

dedalvs:

shea:

buttastic:

buttastic:

how many other elementary schools had compulsory square dancing lessons

why the hell is this so universal

I’m sorry you had WHAT

k so I happened to run into this Twitter thread late last year, and following up, it appears to be true, despite the fact that it sounds outlandishly ridiculous. Here it is: The ubiquitousness of square dancing was actually a plot by Henry Ford to eradicate jazz, which he believed was a Jewish conspiracy.

So, first, article, if you’d like to read up on it.

To start, here’s an actual quote by Henry Ford in a book he wrote called The International Jew:

Many people have wondered whence come the waves upon waves of musical slush that invade decent homes and set the young people of this generation imitating the drivel of morons. Popular music is a Jewish monopoly. Jazz is a Jewish creation. The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, are of Jewish origin.

So…yeah. In order to prevent moral decay in America, Henry Ford started pouring a lot of money into the promotion of square dancing—and that included schools. From the article:

Nonetheless, Ford saw these dances as intrinsically white, and thus more intrinsically wholesome. Along with his wife and their square dance instructor Benjamin Lovett, he campaigned to bring square dancing to the physical education classes of students across the country, believing it would teach children “social training, courtesy, good citizenship, along with rhythm.” The schools agreed, and by 1928, almost half the schools in America were teaching square dancing and other forms of old-fashioned dancing to students.

At this point, schools have compulsory square dancing simply because they’ve always had it, but originally they had it because Henry Ford wanted to save white America.

So hey, if you think the whole square dancing unit at your school is totally lame, informing the school about its history might be a way to get rid of it!

What on fucking earth

Of all the explanations for why I had to do-si-do my way through elementary school, I never could have pictured this

I hated square dancing days

Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed:

olofahere:

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize,  snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”. 

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

this is the main thing that stops me from progressing in life. anything i do in the house, or even going outside, is a snark remark. it makes all my hard work leading to that moment all for nothing. it’s so defeating.