You’re going to receive GOOD NEWS this week.

witchfromthemidwest:

I CLAIM THAT SHIT

AMEN

when you see your own post on someone else’s blog but it still makes you laugh a little bit

floozys:

do you ever eat some disappointing junk food and it’s like… i’m clogging my arteries for THIS?

Things on this site are so oddly specific yet accurate

ahn-f:

a reminder ty

professoroakward:

popokko:

it’s really august huh… like 8 whole months have passed……….. disgusting

aplacethatdoesntknowmyname:

I’m just- I’m having problems with my butler. […] Anyway, I just need to make good with him and maybe give him a few months’ advance so that he’ll come home.

Sex tip:

muffinsandmatriarchy:

muffinsandmatriarchy:

clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead:

chimaeragray:

espikvlt:

pussysista:

If you enjoy doggystyle but are missing eye contact you can facetime your partner.

Or you can just…. turn your head around.

Has the OP actually DONE doggystyle cus this has literally never been a problem for me.

I…definitely dont have the ability to turn my head that way to make eye contact in that position.

i mean not like an OWL but your partner in th rear can lean over and toward you to make this happen!!!

Cosmo Sex Tip 666: just go full on exorcist on a bitch, nothin hotter than demonic possession

Really Shake Things Up in bed by dislocating all of your joints and crawling away onto the ceiling! Your man will love it