hoverbones

dahminatrix:

cann-ibals:

Jeffrey Dahmer had already committed his first murder by 18. And what have you achieved?

on average serial killers commit their first murder at 27. people shouldnt hold themselves to the same standards as prodigies like dahmer.

listen, if youre in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s or even older and you havent started your murder spree, you still have time. your age doesnt define you. you can still make your dreams a reality. you are valid.

hellenhighwater:

how to be good at talking

Arguably the inventor of the elevator pitch.

amishfighterpilot:

minimalist: hey, check out my room. it’s only got three expensive things in it. guess i’m just a little more evolved than everyone else.

me, tripping over a box of junior high school homework assignment i keep because i think i might have some use for them someday: sorry, what?

snakemeup:

My friend sent me this and it’s a big fuckin mood

failout4:

When your favorite NPC is not romanceable and you have to just stare at them like

patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

unrelatedtouserboxes:

today a regular customer came into my store and told me she’d ‘finished candy crush’ and tbh i didnt think that was possible. i thought it just generated levels forever, but apparently it has 4000 odd levels and it took her 4 years to complete. she even emailed them asking when there would be more levels and they told her she could play their other games or replay the existing levels jklsdkflsdf

the only true gamer