The moment when the table turns.

mechalesbian:

you think being gay is hard??? try telling people youre only attracted to clowns

theres literally no possible response i can make to this where i come out a winner. ive actually never been owned this hard before. i think i legally owe you money now.

witchofprose:

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

things you dont learn at school:

mexicanjesuschrist:

punk-rock-delacroixs:

papatulus:

neyhaz:

oscar wilde said he was “addicted to cock-sucking”. also, oscar wilde said “penis-sucking” gave him inspiration

“love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling” I choked

So did Oscar Wilde

whencartoonsruletheworld:

patrexes:

patrexes:

gods but they have patreons

pledge at least 1$/mo to be counted as a follower. for 5$/mo you get free coffee and bagels at the local place of worship. for 15$/mo they’ll answer at least one (1) prayer per month

Okay I hate to intrude but didn’t this happen and isn’t it why Martin Luther wrote his 95 theses

https://fivepercent.tumblr.com/post/179164533495/audio_player_iframe/fivepercent/tumblr_mu0my3Ny7O1rc8e0j?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Ffivepercent%2F179164533495%2Ftumblr_mu0my3Ny7O1rc8e0j

slay-runt:

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Spooky scary

Boys becoming men

Men becoming wolves

zouisalmightie:

madvocate:

(1) President Abraham Lincoln, who had depression
(2) Writer Virginia Woolf, who had bipolar disorder
(3) Artist Vincent Van Gogh, who had bipolar disorder
(4) Writer Sylvia Plath, who had depression
(5) Mathematician John Nash (from A Brilliant Mind), who had schizophrenia

Inspired by this post

rinmatsuokasfree:

the-singular-experience:

a-mock-turtle:

federalists:

are you really bisexual?

Prove it, complete this bisexual obstacle course

omg can I please?

that sounds fun

Like some kind of bisexual Wipeout

If you think the Bisexual Obstacle course was hard, just wait until you see the Pansexual’s Labyrinth.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to reblog this until I saw “Pansexual’s Labyrinth”.

kijilinn:

megatakesatumble:

We’re in year 4 of 2018….

I read this to my husband and he stopped dead while making toast to say, “That’s…. way too accurate.”

fozmeadows:

flatluigi:

veliseraptor:

seagodofmagic:

veliseraptor:

okay but I did not know that there is a story about f. scott fitzgerald nervously showing ernest hemingway his penis because zelda said he couldn’t satisfy a woman with it and ernest hemingway was like “lol no dude you’re fine”

what are the modernists even

the best part of that story in context is that before they pull out their dicks, hemingway spends the better part of a chapter physically describing fitzgerald in great detail, claiming to be grossed out by him but obviously, obviously uncomfortably attracted

oh my god, it got better. I just went to find an excerpt and

Scott was a man then who looked like a boy with a face between handsome and pretty. He had very fair wavy hair, a high forehead, excited and friendly eyes and a delicate long-lipped Irish mouth that, on a girl, would have been the mouth of a beauty. His chin was well built and he had good ears and a handsome, almost beautiful, unmarked nose. This should not have added up to a pretty face, but that came from the coloring, the very fair hair and the mouth. The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more.

ernest hemingway calm down and control your thirst a little

“The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more“ is a hell of a line

No Homo: A Literary Masterpiece